‘Jack Frost:’ Help, My Dad is an Undead Snow Lich and Also Michael Keaton

Before we really get into just how deeply unsettling this movie is, let me clear something up first: If you’re like me, you have fond memories from your childhood of wandering through the aisles of some nondescript video rental store (or a Blockbuster, if, unlike me, you actually grew up in civilization) on a Friday night, browsing through each shelf row by row while your … Continue reading ‘Jack Frost:’ Help, My Dad is an Undead Snow Lich and Also Michael Keaton

Festive War Crimes with ‘The Santa Clause’

Okay, so right off the bat, using The Santa Clause as an example of why Christmas movies are inherently terrifying is cheating a little, because c’mon: Tim Allen, right? A Trump worshipping, coke-trafficking snitch whose bizarre growls and groans in the Home Improvement era of his career suggest either demonic possession or genuine mental illness. His hardcore conservative views clash constantly with his Disneyfied, Buzz … Continue reading Festive War Crimes with ‘The Santa Clause’

The Blogger Under the Stairs is Here to Ruin Christmas!

I’ll be honest with you guys up front: I hate Christmas movies. With a burning passion. This is partially because I’m just innately a Grinch of pre-ghost Scroogean proportions. Sure, I’ll stomach a Christmas tree in the house and a few odd strands of twinkling lights, but I’ve never been one to really give myself fully to the holiday spirit. No ugly sweaters, no wreaths … Continue reading The Blogger Under the Stairs is Here to Ruin Christmas!